What I'm Giving Up for 40 Days2/22/2023 Here in south Louisiana we're coming off of a huge cultural high--Mardi Gras. Whether you're religious or not, everyone gets involved in this celebration in some way, from eating king cake to attending the Super Krewe parades of New Orleans, enjoying live music or even running in a Courir de Mardi Gras in Cajun Country.
The day AFTER Mardi Gras is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. This is traditionally a day when the all excess stops and we reflect/cut back/give up something for 40 days to remind us where we came from/where we'll all return one day (dust). This year I'm going nontraditional, and I invite you to join me. For the next 40 days, I'm giving up ARGUING FOR MY LIMITATIONS. That's right. I do it. You do it. We all do it. And as a result, we don’t live up to our full potential. If the cigar box below had argued for its limitations, it never could have:
What is arguing for YOUR limitations costing YOU? I challenge you to challenge yourself for the next 40 days. Every time you notice yourself arguing for your LIMITATIONS, pause and reframe your thoughts to start arguing for POSSIBILITIES, no matter how small. After 40 days, let's see where we end up! With gratitude, Ashley
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Don't Be the Best In the World2/15/2023 “Don’t be the best in the world. Be the best for the world.” - Dewitt Jones
This quote has been circulating around social media for the past few weeks. It rang particularly true for me today as I sang for the funeral of a man who—from the small glimpse into his life I gathered through the eulogy and homily—took this concept to heart. He didn’t set out to “be the best” at everything he did, though he achieved many things in his lifetime. Instead, he approached life with joy and curiosity. He went out of his way to help others, and he cared not just ABOUT but FOR his community of family and friends in his own special, actionable way. The love they felt for him was palpable. THAT is a true achievement—the mark of a life well-lived. In the end, what truly matters is not our career highlights, or the challenges we’ve overcome, or our personal claims to fame. But did we show up every day—even when we’re in the weeds—and work toward being our best self FOR the world. It’s not an easy task, AND it’s so worth striving for. With gratitude, Ashley The Importance of Asking for Help2/2/2023 As I get myself ready en français today to sing in a few hours for the LSU Friends of French Annual Gala, the topic of "asking for help" is top of mind. This concept is so simple, important, and yet tricky for many people, including me.
I used to view asking for help or making requests of others as a bad/scary thing. I thought it showed weakness or would make people feel burdened. Not to mention how much I dreaded the possibility of the worst response of all: "No!" :) But over the years, and thanks to conversations with many people much wiser than myself, I eventually came to realize that making requests of others doesn't have to be negative. It can actually be an EMPOWERING action because it REVEALS what you need and GIVES others a chance to participate (sometimes in a small way, sometimes in a big way) in your world/journey/mission. It is an INVITATION to contribute their knowledge, gifts or talents as well. You'll still likely hear plenty of "no's" along the way, and even those can be turned into gifts of knowledge, power and/or inspiration if you look for them. Considering this, I have an important question/request for you today: Where would you like to hear me play in 2023? Discovering Louisiana from a musician's perspective over the last few months has been a lot of fun, AND there are a lot of places/events/opportunities that I still don't know about or haven't connected with yet! Many of my favorite gigs and performances over the years have come from word of mouth or an introduction from a friend of a friend, so please let me know who I could be reaching out to, OR let them know about me. AshleyOrlando.com is one easy way to share my story and music. I look forward to your suggestions and truly appreciate your encouragement/support! With gratitude, Ashley Life Lessons from Skee-Ball1/23/2023 Over the holidays, my family came into town from the far corners of the globe. My siblings and I hadn't all been together in one place in 5 years, so we had a lot of catching up to do.
One night we went to our local bowling alley/entertainment center and grabbed a quick dinner at the fast-casual restaurant. Except our trip was anything but quick. Our food took so long to arrive that management apologized by giving us each 30-minutes of unlimited arcade games to thank us for our patience. With a "free play" card in hand, I headed straight for the Skee-Ball machines I always loved as a kid and started rolling the wooden balls down the thin alley toward the point buckets. 1000 points. 2000 points. Occasionally 3000 points. I'd always been pretty good at always getting the lower levels of points. Even though I hadn't played in years, it was easy and fun--my safe zone. Every now and then I'd glance at the higher levels--4000 points, 5000 points, 10,000 points. "I wonder how you hit those," I thought. "They're beyond my reach." But then another fleeting thought popped into my mind: "WHY are they beyond my reach? What if the reason I had never hit those buckets was because I've never actually AIMED for them?" I immediately realized this was true. I usually had a limited number of tokens to play with and focused on earning as many tickets as I could with those tokens. That scarcity mindset of "I'll eventually run out so I'd better make the most of what I have" had encouraged me to always play it safe and focus on points I could definitely achieve. But this time was different. I had free, unlimited play for 30 minutes. AND, the free play cards didn't even allow us to earn tickets, so there was no physical prize to shoot for. "What if, for the remainder of that time, I focus ONLY on the big buckets--5,000 points, or even the tiny 10,000 point buckets in the top corners?" I had nothing to lose. I started putting more power behind my rolls and aiming much higher on the board. The next few throws were wild and all duds. But then a ball hit the 5,000 bucket once, twice, three times in a row! That quick improvement prompted me to shift my sights even higher to the 10,000 buckets. I kept rolling and rolling, tweaking my technique each time. By the end of 3 games, I had hit those "elusive" buckets 7 times simply because I raised my sights higher, aimed for that new goal, and experimented with my strategy until I reached it. Scoring big on a few games of Skee-Ball don't mean a whole lot in the grand scheme of life. But this principle does. My initial thought was true--the biggest points were out of my reach at first--until I changed my mindset and started AIMING for them. Until I stopped worrying about missing and shot for what was POSSIBLE instead of what was PROBABLE. Does this story remind you of an area of your life where you're playing it safe? What big dream are you not committing to 100% in your thoughts and actions. And what is one step you can take regularly to aim higher, shoot farther, and improve by 1% every day? With gratitude, Ashley Why Your Inner Critic Holds You Back1/11/2023 Have you ever wrestled with your inner critic when it tried to keep you safe but small?
I have. And more times than I could ever count, I’ve let my inner critic win. But over the years, I’ve learned that staying safe protects me from failure, AND it also keeps me from joy, deep connection and new collaborations. Step out. Be courageous. Embrace failure. The journey means so much more when you stop shooting for what you already KNOW you can do and start learning what you are TRULY capable of. This is the message I delivered mid-December that won 1st place during the GSU Toastmaster's Club's International Speech Contest! I now move on to compete in the Area Contest Jan. 21 at the Bluebonnet Library in Baton Rouge. If leveling up your speaking or leadership skills is on your 2023 goals list, Toastmasters is a wonderful way to practice regularly in a supportive learning environment. It's never too late to join a club near you and start practicing. I'm proof of that :D With gratitude, Ashley My Favorite Things...12/20/2022 This year has definitely been one for the books, and in reflecting on all that has happened, I'm having trouble picking a favorite moment. But the good thing is that I don't really have to--each experience (whether good or bad) has been a chance to grow, learn, step out of my comfort zone and have fun along the way. I hope you feel the same, especially about things that may not have turned out how you hoped in 2022. For challenging situations you find yourself in right now, I invite you to keep an open mind in 2023. With time, you may find a gift where you least expect it. One recent opportunity I'm particularly thankful for is getting to talk to fellow coach and host Kristen Henry about life, music, coaching and my big mission on her latest episode of The Widening Your Aperture Podcast. If you're curious about my backstory or how I help people find their voice today, click the image below to listen in to our conversation. I'll be taking a much-needed break for the next few weeks to celebrate the holidays with family, but I look forward to seeing y'all and continuing to find our voices together in the New Year! With gratitude, Ashley Behind the Holiday Magic12/5/2022 My husband, Adam, is adamant (haha. Didn't even mean to make that joke!) to wait until after Thanksgiving for anything Christmas-related to enter his world.
But as a musician, I know that behind-the-scenes preparation for the Christmas/holiday season starts MUCH earlier--often around September--so that we can be ready in time for Dec. 1. That includes working on this latest ukulele tutorial for RockClass101.com in the heat of the Louisiana summer! So this year, as you enjoy all the gatherings, events, music and cuisine, take a moment (especially when things don't go perfectly or as you expected) to remember that people have created them with love, hard work, and consideration to make your holidays a little bit brighter :) With gratitude, Ashley The Gift in Failure11/30/2022 A couple weeks ago, an opportunity I've dreamed of for a long time came to fruition: the chance to audition to be a featured vocal soloist with a local symphony. I made it through the first round of auditions (video) and was invited a few days later to do the second round (in person) along with 4 other female vocalists.
Upon arrival it quickly became clear that the other women knew as little as I did about what, exactly, the conductor was looking for, how many soloists they'd pick, etc., so we chatted nervously as we warmed up in the hallway. One of the ladies had brought her aunt along for moral support, and as I struck up conversation (in part to keep my nerves at bay), she mentioned two striking things to me: first, that her dad had played with Louis Prima (a fixture of New Orleans jazz and one of my biggest swing music influences), and second, that she wished she had picked up an instrument as a kid but didn't think it was in the cards for her now. I shared with her my own story of putting music aside, then learning the ukulele and eventually finding so much more of my voice vocally, and let her know that it wasn't too late for her to connect with music! Then it was my turn to audition and we parted ways. A few days later I received word from the symphony that I was not selected as one of the finalists this year, but they highly encouraged me to audition again in the future. This news was disappointing, of course--I was SO CLOSE--but at the same time, I was truly proud of getting that far. All those who were chosen were more operatic singers than me, and all had vocal performance degrees (two of them even had vocal masters degrees!). Additionally, one of the finalists messaged me on Instagram a few days later: "When we left," she wrote, "one of the first things my aunt said (and I have to agree) was that it was so nice talking to you and she felt uplifted when you mentioned that she could still learn to play an instrument!" So even though that audition story didn't end with me singing with the symphony this Christmas as I'd hoped, this unexpected interaction with a stranger brought a bit of joy and possibility to her life. That is a true gift in my eyes :) I hope this story inspires you to share a bit of your own joy with others during this busy holiday season. You never know what positive effect you might have on people, so make it count! With gratitude, Ashley Make Your Audience Right11/16/2022 A few days ago a friend of mine gave me tickets to the Baton Rouge symphony. We ended up sitting just a few rows away from the stage with a great view of the front line of musicians.
As the concert began, the first thing I noticed was the special guest conductor. He was young and not very imposing in stature but projected such energy through his movements and body language (even with his back to the audience) that you could feel his presence and leadership of the orchestra as it played. I loved that he wasn't afraid to hold us in silence with his gestures at the end of one particularly poignant piece until the whole orchestra (and room) was silent, too. For a few brief moments, you really could hear a pin drop. Then as his arms and posture relaxed, so did we. But what most endeared him to me was his impromptu interaction with the audience. Usual symphony tradition says you should NOT clap between movements of a longer piece of music, and I wouldn't be surprised if a few conductors throughout history have scolded audiences at times for breaking this rule. This conductor, however, embraced those who didn't know about that tradition, even turning around after one movement when a few VERY hesitant claps echoed throughout the hall to let us know with a welcoming gesture that it was perfectly "OK" to clap at that point, too. This experience demonstrates one of my favorite tenants of charismatic communication--that oftentimes, HOW we say something is more important than WHAT we say, because it's our tone, body language and facial expressions that most affect how people FEEL in our presence. That conductor took a moment when we as a collective group were hesitant, unsure, nervous even, and he connected with us (even for a second) to reassure us and "make us right." Similarly, the musical genius and performer Jacob Collier, who is known around the world for turning his audiences into impromptu choirs, uses his charismatic communication and leadership skills to get everyone in the room to "go out on a limb" for him. You TRUST that he will lead you through an incredible musical experience, that he won't lead you astray, and so you follow him. But once you're there--singing in a concert hall among hundreds of other strangers--his #1 JOB as a leader is to make sure you feel safe and to GUIDE you to be RIGHT along with everyone else in the room. And he does. THAT is the root of his magical connection with the audience. Find a way to make YOUR audience (even an audience of 1) feel OK, reassured, laugh or at least less awkward in the moment. It can have a huge impact on their overall perception of you and open new doors for collaboration together. With gratitude, Ashley Music Madness11/7/2022 Do you sometimes feel like you've bitten off more than you can chew?
I feel like that some days with music. Since moving back to Louisiana, I have basically started adding an entire new subgenre of songs (traditional jazz) to my repertoire, which means a lot of practice and occasional baptism by fire. It's exciting AND equally terrifying :) On the days when I'm feeling more overwhelm than enthusiasm for extra work I'm putting in to prepare, it's important to pause and look back at how far I've come. You can do this, too, for anything you're currently working on. Incorporating this practice into life regularly can put things into perspective and help you not only ACCEPT where you are in that moment (or even feel joy for it) but also recognize just how far you've come (and celebrate that). It's a simple technique that works wonders. Try it and let me know what you think! With gratitude, Ashley AuthorAshley Orlando is a jazz vocalist/ukulele artist and coach who helps growth-focused leaders find their voice, grow their presence & amplify their impact. Archives
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