Ashley Orlando | Vocalist, Ukulele Artist & Joyologist

The Joyologist's View

Real-World & Messy - Living, Learning & Loving Life

Your Worst Nightmare

4/9/2024

 
Last Friday I received a $5-off loyalty coupon from my favorite Louisiana-based coffee company. I thought, "That's unusual, but how cool!" Then Saturday afternoon I got another email from them. It said, "We're so sorry--we sent that coupon in error!" :/

Can you imagine the business nightmare this created? That $5-off email likely went out to thousands of customers and could quickly become an expensive mistake. But subconsciously, people DISLIKE LOSING THINGS even more than they LIKE GAINING THEM--not a good situation to put loyal patrons in...

Then I thought about the unknown human behind this blunder and wondered, "How horrible they must have felt when they realized and had to admit their mistake..." Ouch!

Have you ever made a public mistake you wished you could take back?

Me too.

This little business snafu reminded me of a recurring nightmare I used to have:
​

I'd be singing at an unfamiliar church, step up to the microphone, and suddenly something would go VERY wrong--ex. I'd have no lyrics in front of me, or I wouldn't be able to read the notes on the page, or I'd hear an unfamiliar song and have no idea where to begin.

The feeling of panic as 827 pairs of human eyes stare expectantly at you is enough to tie anyone's stomach into knots. Night after night, this nightmare woke me in a cold sweat.

But you never know how a nightmare really feels until it comes true.

One day (in real life) I stepped up to the microphone at a FAMILIAR church with a FAMILAR pianist to sing a FAMILAR hymn--so familiar that we didn't bother to rehearse the intro like usual. We just mentally checked it off the list and moved on. But as soon as the service started and that hymn began, I noticed my sheet music was completely different than what the pianist was playing.

What do you think my brain signaled in that moment?

RED ALERT!!!

My heart started pounding.

​Like a NASCAR pit crew lead, I only had 7-seconds to decide what to do and implement.


Then the voice of my high school drama teacher, Ms. Butler, popped into my head. She said, "The show must go on!" And I started to sing.

Thank goodness there's no record of what came out of my mouth that day.
​
  • Was it an improvised masterpiece? Definitely not! But I did the best I could.
  • Was I embarrassed and confused and nervous the whole time? You bet!
  • Did many people notice that something was going very wrong? Not as many as I'd expected.

Yes, it was messy, but I pulled through and lived to tell the tale (the pianist apologized later, saying, "Sorry! I accidentally played the wrong arrangement of the song!").

But the BEST part about living my WORST nightmare was that my recurring dream stopped.

My subconscious had learned that even in a worst-case scenario, I could survive.

SOMETIMES YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE IS YOUR BEST CHANCE TO GROW.

And you can bet your bottom dollar that from then on, I made it a habit to ALWAYS rehearse intros (at least) with my accompanist so we could catch that kind of mistake in the future BEFORE it went public :)

Now in case you're wondering what happened with that coffee chain I mentioned earlier...

In their 2nd email, they apologized AND offered me a $1 coupon.

I thought, "Ouch. But $1 off is better than nothing!" I liked that this gesture symbolized a sincere apology--they mitigated the financial damage but didn't completely let themselves off the hook for the error.

Today, I passed by one of their coffee shops and decided to redeem my $1 coupon. And as I type this, I am delightfully sipping my slightly-less-expensive frozen frappe :D

I invite you to think about a worst-case scenario you dread experiencing.

Imagine it in your mind. And if you notice that you, too, are:
  • avoiding it
  • running away from it OR
  • causing yourself mental distress by not dealing with it

What would happen if you stopped running AWAY and started running TOWARD it?
How could you embrace and possibly learn from it instead?

BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE IS YOUR BEST CHANCE TO GROW.

With gratitude,

Ashley
​

P.S. I've also decided to stop running away from releasing my music on streaming (it can be scary to put new recordings out into the world), so you can now pre-save my first single, "L-O-V-E," which drops April 22!
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    Ashley Orlando is a jazz vocalist/ukulele artist and joyologist on a mission to help 1 million women find their voice through music, inspiring stories, and communication skills.

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